puppy raiser's joyful lament

Such an eloquent article...


Zeek’s Corner: Saying Goodbye

All throughout my experience as a first time puppy raiser, I heard the well-known question, “How
can you give him up?”. My reply was, “I’m used to giving them up. And if he makes it I know he will go to
a fabulous home to do amazing things for a person with a disability.” Half of those statements are true.
The fact is, as trainers we are really equivalent to classroom teachers. We spend the day with the
dogs, we teach and nurture them, we love and praise them (my goodness, we love them), and we try to teach
them right from wrong in the assistance dog world. Then we go to our homes when work is done for the day
(and let our pet dogs get away with everything). As a raiser you are more like the family of this ‘foster
child’. You wake up with them, spend nearly all of the day with them, and then take them home at night.
You take them to the vet for any scrapes and bumps. You take them out on most of your errands and they are
a part of your life activities. Zeek was with me when I got my passport, ordered wedding invitations, and
shared Christmas with my family in Chicago. It is different. So when I tried to mentally convince myself that
the end of the process would be easy for me because “I was used to it” I was covering myself in a big
blanket of denial.
Since Zeek was raised in the Southwest region, we matriculated and walked across the stage at the
graduation ceremony in Oceanside. Then, a week later, we went up to the Schulz Campus in Santa Rosa, CA
for the Real Turn-in and matriculation. (Any CCI Southwest employee that puppy raises turns the puppy in
at Northwest/National.) As I sat in the audience at the Oceanside ceremony, before it even began, I felt
myself become overwhelmed by the fact that this endearing and amazingly fun creature lying by my feet
would soon be gone. For me that was the moment of realization (and the most tears), a whole week before
Real Turn-in!
Going to the Schulz Campus a week later was a good experience. I got to see old friends and watch a
graduation ceremony at a different region. After the ceremony, my husband and I drove over to the campus
straight away and took Zeek out to the big yard, where we romped with a few other puppies. We watched his
characteristically small and uncoordinated self romp with pure joy. Then we went to “the room” and stood
just outside to say our goodbye.
Zeek had no idea this was an important moment—breathless from his romp, he excitedly watched
the other dogs entering the training room. That is when I realized there was no good reason to cry now. I had
already cried for myself, and how much I would miss him. There was no reason to cry for Zeek. Zeek is a
happy, adaptable, canine and people-loving creature. This Advanced Training set-up was like his personal
version of heaven. He gets to play in a yard with a big group of dogs every day! He gets to work on new
commands and use his sharp little brain! He lives with a young, playful roommate instead of our grumpy old
pet dog, Myles! Absolute heaven. I gave the leash to one of the trainers and Zeek wagged excitedly at them
and bounded off without a single look back.
To be honest, when I arrived home there was some relief. Never have trips to the grocery store
seemed so fast and convenient. Myles the grump was peacefully slumbering all day long, as is his
preference. And the remainder of my wedding planning was just a bit less stressful with one less thing to
think about.
But when we returned from the honeymoon, and every day since, I find myself thinking about him
more. I think about what it would be like to see him and wonder if he would wiggle with joy at my presence.
I find myself waiting for that first training report like a high school girl waiting for news about her crush and
what he is up to, butterflies in my stomach.


I hope with all my heart that he makes it. If not, ours is a one-grumpy-
dog home, so we will go find Zeek the perfect spot. The dogs always find their
perfect spot, whether it is with a CCI graduate, or as a pet dog—I truly believe
that. These dogs don’t have quirks, they have their true character, and if
their true nature is not meant for this work, I love that CCI respects that and
doesn’t force the mold. Zeek will be an assistance dog if that is his true nature.
Will I raise another? Probably, but not yet. I must focus my attention
on future ‘classrooms’ of Advanced Training dogs, raised by the likes of you
wonderful people! Puppy Raising was harder than I thought, more
time-consuming than I thought, and more wonderful than I thought it would be.
I give extra Kudos to all of our raisers who, I have truly realized, make a great
sacrifice of time, money, patience, clothing, personal objects, and then come
back to do it all over again. Keep up the hard work.
-Becky (Skrudland) Hein